Have you ever read an article or post that you just HAD to respond to? This is my rebuttle to a Huffington Post article.
Have you ever read an article or post that you just HAD to respond to? This is my rebuttal to a Huffington Post article. 

I know that I was originally going to post on another subject, and I will soon, but this just had to be written.

I was reading the Huffington Post and I came across this “big deal” about what women should know and have by the time they are 30 and I was grieved.

It was deceptive and full of empty suggestions.

So, I have written a rebuttal. Here is the original post on Huffington Post.

By 30, you should have…

  1. Either one husband or waiting for the one who should be your husband. If you date and leave behind boyfriends, you will leave behind bits of you that you can never recover and carry with you bits of them that you can not get rid of.
  2. A grateful heart that is blessed by what others have given you.
  3. Clothing that you can feel pretty, but modest in.
  4. A humility that is OK to go places with the old and battered things in your life.
  5. A youth you are not ashamed of.
  6. A past that glorifies God.
  7. Children that will take care of you in your old age, even if they are “adopted” from another family.
  8. To not have to hide anything with an individual email, voice mail or bank account.
  9. A house full of laughing, joyful children or a job that allows you to come in contact with them.
  10. Friends that know what you really need.
  11. Accepted that you are not Superwoman and it is OK to need others and their help.
  12. Given money to help others who have less.
  13. The belief that helping others is better than serving self.
  14. A healthy attitude toward care of oneself with out being a slave to ones vanity.
  15. A solid start on a family or a mission.

By 30, you should know… 

  1. How to love others more than ourselves. Or at least as much…
  2. That you should not wait any longer to have children if you want them and can have them. It gets harder to take care of little ones when you are older.
  3. How to humble ourselves and admit we are wrong.
  4. When to love more and when to walk away and pray.
  5. How to kiss our spouses with out any thought of controlling them.
  6. Where the people are in the world that still need Jesus… and food, water, clothing and an education.
  7. How to not end up alone – even if you never marry or have children.
  8. To go to Jesus when your soul needs soothing.
  9. How to love who you are as one of God’s creations.
  10. That you can be healed of the hurts of your childhood and help other children with the same issues.
  11. That you should do everything for God and let money and love follow.
  12. That there is help for your addictions and that everyone is struggling with something.
  13. How to be a trustworthy person.
  14. To apologize, even if it isn’t your fault.
  15. That we should learn as much of this as we can before we turn 30.

I will admit that I was closer to 40 before I learned a lot of these things, but at least I was willing to still learn in my “old age.”

What would you like to have or know by the time you are 30 (or 40, or 50)?


11 comments on “Rebuttal to: 30 Things Every Woman Should Have or Know by the Time She is 30”

  1. I really enjoyed reading this and comparing it to the Huffington post one. I have to say that I’m not perfect enough to be totally in line with your list, but I’d really like to move in that direction! Thanks for the inspiration, April! Truly on the Proverbs 31 path! Back to practicing my worship team song… 🙂

    • Hi Christina,

      Thank you for the support.

      I am not perfect either and I hope that isn’t what this list is, a “perfection measure”.

      I just thought this was a better set of goals for a woman than the other set.


  2. =) I’m not Christian, but I like this list better than the other one. I think it’s a way to a different version of a happy life. A quiet life sounds nicer to me than a frenetic one. Thank you for writing it.

    • You are welcome and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

      I can honestly say that at one point in my life, I had come close to “achieving” that other list and it didn’t do anything for me – my life was just BLAH. Working towards the things in the list I wrote has greatly improved my life.

  3. Thank you. This list is much more applicable to normal women who don’t think that Sex in the City is the way you should live your life.

    • I really think it is a small portion of the population that wants things like Sex in the City, so I have a hard tiime understanding why so much of the media is catered to it.

      Thank you for reading and supporting.

  4. …I’m all for the soulful, quiet life, but I do hope you realize that many of us homemakers are quite content with a domesticity free of organized religion (or any defined religion, for that matter). And while I do like children, I’m really not the type to birth any of my own. I like my little family just the way it is; myself, my husband and our lovely pets.
    In any case, I do think your list has many more valid and fulfilling aspirations than the one on huffpo, and I’m glad you wrote about it, I just hope you’re more open than you seem to be to the idea of a woman (or anyone, really) finding fulfillment in ways which best suits her own particular needs and temperament. Marriage is not necessarily for everyone, and wholesome happiness can most certainly exist without it. Two cents added.
    Blessed Be

    • Hello,
      I appreciate your thoughts.

      I really didn’t like organized religion either. I grew up going to church on Sunday and then doing whatever the rest of the week. There was no life in it.

      However, when I finally connected with God, I realized the difference between “going to church” and living in the Spirit. I can see the changes that were made and are still being made in my life by having a daily relationship with God, through Jesus. Now there is life.

      I used to practice Wicca many years ago, and some of the wording that you use and your basic philosophy seems to be along those lines. Wicca is an organized religion, BTW. Just saying.


  5. Thank you April! I agree, the huffpost article was very sad and wrong in so many ways. What a lonely, heartbroken young lady it describes! Woman like you and I are blessed beyond measure to be able to see past these empty carnal things and realize the blessings that come with a joyful, simple life filled with those things (people) most precious to us. Just being blessed with a Godly husband and children are treasures many woman only wish for. We are truly blessed.

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